When someone dies there may be a hope or an assumption that members in the family will be able to support each other. Sometimes a shared loss can bring people together, but it can also lead to arguments and conflict.
Some people in the family may feel numb for days and weeks and it may seem to others that they don't care. Others may be unable to cope even with simple daily tasks and it may seem that they are avoiding things or are not helping to those around them.
One way of making sense of what is happening is to think of a game of snakes and ladders. Every throw of the dice moves players ahead at a different pace. One player may be lucky and climb ladder after ladder at first, only to slide all the way down on a snake just before they reach the finish. Another player may slowly make their way across the board with each throw and reach the finish without the major upheaval of stepping on a snake or ladder.
Each person within the family grieves in their own particular way and at their own pace. This can leave people feeling out of synch, and even lonely.